Fear is the mind-killer.  It blinds us to compassion and merciful judgment.  When someone has done something, or through their inaction and outright rude indifference to your situation, are causing you distress, it is easy to become overwhelmed with negative emotions toward that person or group of people.  We become fearful of what might happen due to these people that we perceive hold power over us and our property or circumstances in our lives.  When we invest that much power in someone else, it can be easy to despise them if they do not do what we want them to do to help us.  It is out of this fear that our hatred can blossom. 

There are others who have simply done us wrong.  They are wrong.  We didn’t deserve that.  What did we do to deserve that?  It is easy to become the victim and to harbor the fear and resentment against those and against other whom we believe have done similar things or who might do such things to us, to hurt us and damage our position in the World.

My father had ulcers.  The doctor said is was because he had stress from his job.  There were people above him that he had said : “did me dirt,” meaning that they had done things to damage his position where he worked.  He felt powerless to do anything about it.  And this affected his health.  He had one very good thing going for him: we was a good worker and had a solid work ethic and no matter what anyone said, he worked hard and smart everyday.  That work ethic saw him through his crises, because in the final analysis, he did good job and the results of his work were irrefutable.  Year later, the ulcers were no more.

How To Take Charge of Your Life and Situation to Begin Forgiving

It can be almost impossible to forgive those who have hurt us or tried to cause us harm or through their inaction, have caused damage to our situation.  What can we do?  First of all, take 3 deep breaths in a quiet room where no one can bother you for at least 30 minutes.  Think about what is happening.  Are there really no other options?  Can you call on someone else to help you?  Perhaps, if you have the financial capability, engage a special consultant to help you solve the problem that you believe is being created by someone that you think is about to hurt you or to cause you, your business, or loved one damage?  You may find that there are plenty of people in the world who love to help those who need their advice, counsel and assistance.  You need to think about who those people and organizations might be, then get on a computer and type in what you think they might be called (if you can obtain access to a computer, or if you have one).  Then, contact those people and organizations through e-mails and phone calls and explain your situation and ask for help and what you might be able to afford to pay them for their assistance.  Some organizations are free, for instance nearly every city in America has unwed mother assistance for free, educational literacy programs and many more.

The point is: think about What You Can Do About It in a positive, constructive manner.  What can you do to take charge of your situation and remove the ability of the decisions of others from adversely affecting you?  Are you working hard and smart? Are you making every day a learning experience so that tomorrow you will not repeat mistakes, but learn from them.  Are you learning how to better get along with other people?  Here’s a great book that every human being needs to read: Dale Carnegie is the author: “How Win Friends and Influence People”.  I first read it when I was a high school senior and unfortunately for me, promptly forgot about it.  Big mistake.  After really creating a mess of many things in my life, I found some recent CDs of Mr. Carnegie’s book and I listened to them while driving in my car.  Wow!  What a transforming experience!   You have to be nice to other people!  You have to ask them questions and Listen to them.  They like that.  They are much more prone to do things that you like if they like you.

Forgiveness Prayer

Dear God, let forgiveness flow to and through em that I may know your grace in my life.

Make me a channel for compassion.  Help me to see through your eyes, please work through my hands.  Help me to know that Love is all that is real.  Specifically, I ask that _________________________________ (your persecutors or wrong-doers) be forgiven and that they and I be released from the bondage of fear, guilt and shame.

Please clear my mind of past stories and events that have taken root and blossomed into limiting, sabotaging beliefs.   Renew my mind and spirit with visions and stories of Light, Love and Laughter. 

I am love; I am peace; I am free.  I am forgiven as are those who I have seen as transgressors, now forevermore.

(we don’t say Amen, because we want to keep the channel to God always open)

much of the forgiveness prayer above is courtesy of spiritual teacher Mark Anthony Lord, with some of our additional words.  We apologize to Mark and take complete responsibility for anything not of his intentions by our additions.

Once You Have Taken Charge, Do Constructive Things To Improve Your Life

Okay, so you have forgiven those people who you perceived as damaging you and your loved ones and you have obtained assistance and you are now in control of the situations of your life.  The question is: what will you do?  You are now totally responsible for yourself and your own future.  Watch TV for 12 hours a day?  Learn useful new skills to become a success? Work smart and hard?  Love your children and spouse?  Your future is up to you.  You no longer have to be afraid.  Be powerful and wise.